It feels good to finally coming clean.
You know, every living human has his own dirty laundry. Some keep the dirt to grave, some deal with that by confiding in someone, some just don't give a crap about it.
I am not that lucky, but I sure do have amazing friends, different set of friends, whom I can talk to, when I really have to take something off my chest.
I am good at talking and making reasoning, to me, everything has its own reason. So, sue me for enjoying a life. If I were given a chance to turn back the clock, hell yeah I would take up the chance, and do things differently. But it doesn't mean I regret my life choices so far. It just that, well, I am wondering what if I had done this and that differently. It is pretty much a "what if" dilemma.
The past one year, I've been ditching friends and reconnecting with some. I'm kinda twisted in a way of saying. So yeah, that pretty much sums up my whole situation.
Perhaps I am still one confused young lady. Or perhaps, I enjoy life too much, so much that other than career, I play with fire all the time.
And a good wise friend told me two days go; "Don't you, just don't get married until you turn 30."
I can't say I agree with her idea, but you know, I can see the logic behind this. As beautiful as most people picture it, marriage is not that pretty. Besides the money issue, come on, it is more than money issue. And fuck those who only get married to legalise sex. It is not just about fucking. And after all, most people do not hold onto celibacy anymore. Unless yeah, you are too naive to realise this.
Now, force your grandparents to stop asking unmarried people to settle down. Because they are wiser than those who marry early, and regret the decision 5 years later, with 5 kids in tow, and divorce papers to be signed. The fact that they have 5 kids in 5 years is a proof to how fucking irresponsible they are. So much of practising legalised sex, my ass.
Well, at least I have 2 friends regretting their decision to marry young. In my textbook, that figure doesn't look good, when I have only around 6 friends who got married before they reached 23. It is 33% failure rate I am seeing.
When you have commitment issue, don't ever find a life partner. Society will press you, I assure you that. But fuck them. I know this one guy, on his way of parting ways with his wife, he only promised her 200 ringgit monthly for child support. Screw him. Committed, my ass.
Ladies, no matter how in love you are with your husband, no matter how comfortable and connected you feel towards him, be very prepared. One day, that day will come. When either one of you, suddenly woke up at the wrong side of bed, and feeling rather confused and discontent. That is when life crisis hits you. So for you ladies, if your man suddenly changes, you are always at the loosing end.
I mean, hello. Even though now is two thousand and ten already, women are still at the loose end. Deal with it. It is not a barbaric issue. Society always give men the upper hand. Women have to realise this. The first step towards protecting yourself is, you start taking care of your own body. Seriously speaking.
Who ever says "don't judge a book by its cover" are only attention-seeking hypocrite. Take care of your beauty, and body. Do exercise, eat well, whatever. Just make sure you are still at your prime, even though you are no longer in the game of manhunt. Because you never know what the future might surprise you.
I'm writing this, because admit it, we always feel insecure. 70% of my time is spent thinking what if what I'd planned didn't turn out to be what I had expected.
Believe it or not, the only thing that ruins all good things is expectation.