Thursday, May 19, 2011

Selamat Jalan

Yes, the time has finally come. After months of trying to buy more time, I know I had loved him way too much, I surrendered. I had to leave him.

Everybody was surprised to see how calm I've been so far. I no longer break down talking about him. But I must be honest. I cry myself to sleep every night. I strain myself from calling him up, from going to his usual places.

You can say 'I told you so' right in my face, not that it would matter to me anymore. You have no idea, even he has no idea, how I have actually loved this relationship, probably more than I have ever loved him. And because we live nearby, it is such a pain to drive on the roads that we used to drive on together. Fuck, everywhere is a memory.

And he mustn't know this. Despite everything, I still love him.