Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Lucky Number Eleven

I no longer a bitchy bitter young lady with razor-sharp tongue. I used to scare people with my unfriendly attitude. It is more appropriate if I say I am awkward towards strangers. I don't sit well with people I know very little of.

The past one year has been me transforming myself into a much more emotional-form me. Sadly, this has to do with guys. Unfortunately, I have to admit I have weak knees when it comes to dealing with hearty matters. I melt like candles on fire. I forego my ritual time with friends, I can't even remember the last time all of us had bowling or karaoke session together. I literally have abandoned them, albeit not completely, but still I didn't spare even a tenth of my time on them. They have been complaining a lot, so yes, guilty as charged.

I'm not doing so good with family as well. Other than my sister, I think I hardly talk to anyone in the family. No surprise though, I have sworn to keep things to myself. Family can be suffocating at times. I am whining, fuck me I know. It would be easier to say, I have unhealthy social life.

Funny however, despite all these, I am enjoying life. I ain't exactly enjoying as in laughing and rejoicing, it just that I don't plan to do any immediate change anytime soon.

Well, FG#2 has left, may be for good. He isn't a tough nut. I miss him of course, but somehow I think I don't deserve him. If later in life we met, fate has got to do with it. As for now, let him disappear. Things are more complex with FG#1, but but, I maintain to still stick with him. If you ask how on earth could I still be with him after all these turbulent times, for the love God, I myself haven't a clue. I must say I love his presence and when he is not around, loneliness creeps in because he is a constant presence.

Anyway, 2011 is a working and traveling year. This coming March should be absofuckinglutely exciting that I cannot wait. Hopefully business will be booming in a month or two as my piggy bank is thinning.

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