Monday, December 12, 2011

Time Keeper

Have you been bullied? If you were or are a bully, this question is just irrelevant. But you should know the damage to the victim is eternal.

Anyway, let's ask that question to me instead. Basically, that's the whole point of me starting writing again after all these while. I have been bullied, many times for sure.

But the one I clearly remember is when I was 8. There was one bully, mind you, a girl. Before I go further, you should know girls bitch around since they were born. So this girl, she was my classmate, in fact, I sat next to her in class.

Her method was simple. She would demand me to buy her a plate of noodles/fried rice along with a glass of sugar-flavoured drink everyday. The first time she demanded, I gave in. The second time, I still gave in. When it came to the third time, she didn't need to ask, I knew what I had to do. So I bought her meals everyday for the whole year, never once I stood on my feet to object her. Such a pussy I was back then.

Luckily, the bully stopped after that school year ended. Soon I got my normal life back. Few years later, she moved to another school and never to be heard again. Funny thing is, I never held any grudges, or maybe I thought it was normal to be bullied that way. I never thought she was wrong to make me do things for her.

Just recently, she added me on Facebook and I accepted her friend request. As glad as I was to see her again, I never went any further as to start any conversation or to catch up with her or anything. She's in my friend list and that's it. She probably has forgotten the ancient 16-year old history and I'm no mood to help her jog down her memory lane.

Personally, I think having been bullied is a good advantage. I mean, if I hadn't had that experience, I wouldn't know how does it like to be bullied. But trust me, as thankful as I am to have that experience, I don't like the fact that bully is around.

We know bullies are everywhere. Even I am not totally escaped from this bully world. And it's bullshit. Some people make a living from bullying and others make their living by being victims. You can stand up on your own, but the stakes are sometimes too high.

You are afraid you will lose this and that. Like me, I was scared I would lose love. That is the damnest thing.

The good news is, once you stand up, you can never step back. I lost the love. But you know, that is life. Like how I survived bullying, the only thing I can do right now is to just move forward.

I sure do miss writing.

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