Some Things Are Just Too Good To Be True

During a conversation with favourite guy #2;

'I always have a soft spot for guys who linger in bookstores, either reading books or buying some. And the blokes who read in trains.'

'But I never go to bookstores, what's more buying books.'

'Exactly sayang.'

'Any more soft spot that you have?'

'Quirky guys who can speak real stuff when it comes to serious matter.'

'I ain't one I suppose'

'Exactly. Exactly. But you are you. And I love you.'

The Watchmen

If you are a Facebook junkie like me, you must have noticed the recent trend of people uploading loads of videos, be it music videos or wedding reception videos. Not to forget the 'hereafter is coming, so let's repent' kind of videos.

Actually, I have nothing against this latest trend, people like to share, so whatever. Post anything, I don't mind, so long as they don't post annoying childish statuses.

But herein lies the problem. The video watchers have this strange habit, that after watching, they feel obliged to comment on that certain video. Some video posters are a culprit too. Which you know, irks me. These are the same people who love posting stupid statuses, and when they comment on videos, well what kind of comment should be expected? Exactly, stupid comments with spelling and grammar errors here and there.

I, myself love watching the videos also. But I rarely ever comment on those, except for a few that to me, are worth commenting on. I find it strange to comment every single video.

Is it hard to just watch it and shut the fuck up? Even though you like the content so much, or despise it, keep your opinion to yourself, unless you feel it is necessary to voice out your thought. Most of the times, I find the opinions are unnecessarily published. Seriously speaking. And then they go about preaching on the Facebook status the damage of trashing others behind their backs, something like that.

I mean, helloooo these people seriously know how to tickle me to death. I literally laugh. What a contradiction in persona.

That makes me question, did these people really go to school? Or did they have rough childhood? Or perhaps another case of holier-than-thou?

In case you are wondering, as bitter as I may look, I had a wonderful childhood. No kidding.

Whore

As if we had just known each other for one week, I made a confession to favourite guy #2.

"You must know this, since we are going to spend a lot of time together. I curse. A lot that you cannot imagine how splendid I sound when cursing."

"Uh huh. I've long noticed that."

"No. This is real. I really do curse. And another thing, I sometimes have dirty mind and I talk dirty with my gang."

*clearing throat* "Okay. That's a head up, it's good to know. I sometimes talk dirty with my gang too."

"Haha. Your gang consist of all boys. My gang have both sexes. And you are in big trouble, unless you can handle this newfound truth."

"Ah well, now at least the sky is clearer."

On The Twelfth Hour

Ever since I've been less critical whilst writing at my old home, some folks have been wondering of the sudden change of my writing style. I mean, I no longer curse over there. They, ladies and gentlemen, know nothing of this new home of mine.

My reason is simple. The lesser people know of this new home, the better it will be for my reputation. Because here, except a good 10 people I personally invited them to read, none of you actually know me in person. Which is good, I can be whoever I want here. I can bitch, and be an angel at the same time. The best thing of all, both favourite guys do not know I am writing here. Simply because I see little reason for them to know pun.

And well, you will also see no picture of me. You guess right, I am deliciously beautiful, use your wild imagination, you get my blessing. Ahhh, it feels safe to be in control.

A little bit of information about me. I don't do 9-5 McJob. At least, not anymore. Right now, I'm resting on my laurels and my back hurts for I've been in bed for the last 20 hours. But you know what, I love this. By November, however, I would be in full swing.

So there you go. 11:57:03, that is my wake-up morning time. Another bit, I hate Hitler but I kind of had a crush on him once.

These Also Are Becoming Quite A Trend

1) Ini satu benda wajib, saban minggu mesti ada. Buka Facebook pagi Isnin, mesti ada salah empat belas orang akan meletakkan status berbunyi 'Bosannya Monday Blues', 'Aku benci Isnin, argh!!!', more or less macam ni.

Kemudian buka Facebook pagi Jumaat, status begini pula keluar; 'Yesssss hari minggu yang dinanti-nantikan', 'Bestnya, tak sabar nak cuti'. Fenomena jaringan sosial maya yang tipikal kan.


2) Many late 80s babies are starting to settle down. Some have even started a family. I ada rakan sebaya yang sudah beranak tiga okey. Dan macam biasalah, the usual crappy question will linger, 'Kau bila lagi? Best wooo kahwin'.

Being the usual me, I akan jawab 'esok kahwin'. Simple and deep. Even my makciks and pakciks and jirans have been pestering my Dame with the same question. Typical Malays attempting to berbasa-basi. Which is annoying and irritating.

My goal in life is to be happy. If marriage happens to give me happiness, someday I will settle down. But no, currently I don't see it as the fundamental of happiness. Money is. Love is. Travelling is. Having fun is. Tunggulah dah banyak duit, 5/6 tahun lagi.

Ada pula yang berbunyi lepas tu, 'Duit bukan segala-galanya, kahwin kan sunat'. Biasanya akan diceramah oleh mereka yang tak ada cita-cita lain dalam hidup selain daripada besuami/isteri dan bersenggama. Mr and Mrs, let's have this conversation once we turned 50, shall we? Only then will we know how well/bad we become.

The idea of settling down just to make others happy or to basically follow the already lame bestnya-kahwin fad, it irks me. Lagi-lagi kalau duit hantaran pakai loan, belanja kahwin besar-besar, lepas tu duit habis terpaksa tinggal dengan mak bapak. Atau tinggal sendiri dalam keadaan kena ikat perut, tengah bulan gaji habis since gaji kena deduct personal loan bank (loan kahwin), lepas tu ada hati nak beranak banyak. This is one irresponsible act of foolishness. Agaknya sebab tu ramai budak-budak yang bodoh piang. Mak ayah kahwin, tapi tak pernah menuntut ilmu perkahwinan. Ilmu kuat tenaga batin saja yang sibuk dicari.


3) Lagi berkenaan Facebook. I just don't understand how some guys can be freely emotional whilst posting their statuses. It freaks me out when they practically pour out their every detail of emotions, on how sad they feel, how heartbroken, how happily in love, how they put I-love-you-NorAmalina every now and then.

I guess some guys are fragile (geli kot) like girls, and some girls are not like typical girls. I would never giggle or brag around if my boyfriend was so open with his feelings in public. Eeuww!


4) Babytalk. Makan jadi mamam, tidur jadi tito, sakit jadi cakit, busuk jadi mucuk, sayang jadi cayang. All of which irritate me a lot. I'm done being a baby 20 odd years ago. Can we be adults now, and talk like one?


5) Blackberry craziness?

Violent Hill

PRMPNKCK has written something about Chris Martin. My fucking beloved Chris Martin. I could see the snippets from my dashboard. But up until now, whenever I open up her page, the entry is nowhere to be found. Has she somehow deleted the entry? But why?

PRMPNKCK, if you are reading this, kindly please offer me somekind of explanation. Because you owe me one. I introduced him to you, if my memory serves me correctly. And one more thing, I want Gucci's Flora for my upcoming birthday.

Imma Bimbo Get Me Outta Here

You know why I curse? To add volume and tone to my expression.

Show me one fine lady who curses not for the purpose of seeking attention.

Because I am one attention-seeking bimbo. So, suit yourself.

And exactly the reason I don't mingle with my students. Or fuddle duddle with 'em. Haha!

After All, I Still Have A Bimbo Living In My Head

Been asking my favourite sister whether I should ditch favourite guy #2 for everyone's sake. The reasons for ditching are;

1) maneuvering two wheels at a time is no easy work. Lots of lying and acting up every now and then as to not hurt the other 'quarter'.

2) #2 knows the existence of #1, but #1 doesn't have any idea there is even a #2. I'm sure #1 will kill #2 if he finds out. Literally speaking.

3) Even though I always said I would end up marrying #2, because of our long history and past chemistry, now I am not so sure. Little did I know he could be this attention deprived. However, marrying #1 is out of question. I can never ever be married to him, even he knows this already.

4) #1 has been slightly suspicious. One morning, he asked who had rung me up at 6.50 in the morning, with 5 missed calls before then. So again, I had to lie. Anyways, I also have my own suspicion on him as well. Yeah I may not speak his language, but I ain't dumb either. That's why I effing love google.

But no, I ain't gonna confront him or do anything. Why do damage over something petty? For now, we are great together, we talk, we share, we love, we kiss. And he's always here. It feels just like having a relationship with myself. On the other hand, who ever get married to himself, eh? If he's having an affair, which I doubt he is in this country, what fuck can I do. I'm trying to be realistic here. The button is with me, it is my call if I want to press it.

5) #2 has been reporting his daily activity, almost every single day. Now, that pisses me off. Frankly, I don't give a damn what my other 'quarters' do, they can do whatever they want, go everywhere they please, meet anyone they wish to, just do not report every single detail. Because I myself don't like to report up my daily activity. I trust them, they trust me. Life should be this simple. If you cannot trust your significant other, why bother being in relationship in the first place? Again, everyone has the button to press.

6) Numbering people is not exactly very nice to do, you know. It makes me look bitchy. Although I can be and am a bitch, I always try my best to conceal that very unflattering fact.

Anekdot

Baru sudah mengambil kuiz personaliti berdasarkan warna. Fuck, sebiji-sebiji, seketul-seketul butir deskripsi dia terkena batang hidung.

Did I mention I was a brown lover? Double eff, I still am.

Mungkin aku patut keluar lebih banyak, ekspres lebih emosi, jangan ditahan-tahan perasaan bila kemahuan dan keperluan dinafikan, dan cuba alami pelbagai anekdot dengan lebih kerap.

Pendek kata, patutlah aku bergelumang dalam industri yang dipenuhi dengan manusia berkarakter Jonathan McQuarry. Tapi bercita-cita mahu hidup bersama lelaki seakan Thom Yorke.

Okey, aku tak sebut tentang berkahwin kan? Hanya mahu hidup bersama. Pergi lantak sama lelaki kegemaran kedua serta fantasi perkahwinan dan idea berkeluarga dia.

Fuck, sebiji-sebiji, seketul-seketul butir deskripsi dia terkena batang hidung.

Fetish

1) I suka lelaki yang berbulu. Lelaki berbulu selalu di-associatekan dengan bad body odour disebabkan peluh melekat pada bulu-bulu mereka maka;

2) Lelaki tersebut mestilah wangi, yakni berkawan baik dengan minyak wangi, deodorant segala jadah. My biggest turn off in men is when they either have bad body odour or they don't produce any odour at all.

3) Mereka yang menaip menggunakan ejaan yang penuh merupakan antara manusia kegemaran I. Serius I akan respect habis. To me, cara kau menulis menunjukkan sejauh mana daya intelek kau. Memang bias, sebab tak semuanya macam tu. Tapi, I berani jamin, 90% orang yang menulis guna macam-macam short form jahanam adalah manusia yang tak berapa berkualiti otak mereka, walaupun belajar tinggi.

4) Buat masa ni, I sangat tertarik dengan sesiapa sahaja yang terlibat dalam bidang architecture, baik bekerja ataupun belajar. Kalau dulu, budak law. Hakikatnya, I selalu stuck up dengan mereka yang terlibat dalam bidang kejuruteraan, terutamanya elektrik. Ah bosan. Minta maaf, budak line accountancy tak pernah termasuk dalam kategori kegemaran I.

5) Tak lupa juga mereka yang fasih berbahasa Inggeris. Tak perlu slang British ke apa, fasih saja sudah cukup. Sebab I suka berbual dalam Bahasa Inggeris, even dengan kawan baik I pun. Bahasa Melayu bukan tak best, cuma kau faham-faham saja lah orang Melayu dengan obsesi Bahasa Melayu dia. Padahal SPM pun dapat 6C. Sebenarnya tak penting pun untuk mention, tapi I nak tulis juga. I dapat A1 untuk paper Bahasa Melayu. Penggunaan bahasa ibunda I lagi bagus daripada kau-kau yang mengutuk aku suka berbahasa penjajah. Yang kau kaki tengok bola Liga Inggeris, berjoget sakan dengar lagu Lady Gaga tu tak macam perangai penjajah?

Melayu dengan Melayu, kadang-kadang suka berperangai bangsat. Kalau Mat Salleh datang KL, bukan main lembut gigi dari lidah. So much holier-than-thou.

6) Disebabkan kata carutan dalam Bahasa Melayu kebanyakkannya berbunyi lebih keras, maka I gemar mencarut dalam bahasa ibunda. Contohnya bangsat. Sekufu Bahasa Inggeris dia ialah sonofabitch. Sama-sama keras.

7) India. I memang nak sangat pergi sana. Semuanya disebabkan I nak cuba naik keretapi di sana, nak cuba teroka kehidupan orang di sana. I rasa India akan beri I banyak pengajaran untuk dipelajari. Life wise.

8) Filem perang. Dalam bahasa apa jua. Cerita terbaik kategori ini masih lagi 'Saving Private Ryan' dan 'The Pianist'. I suka storyline yang melibatkan Nazi dan Yahudi. Kalau orang lain menonton filem untuk menenangkan minda, maka mereka memilih filem bergenre ringan, I pula menenangkan minda dengan menonton filem bergenre berat. Lagi pecah kepala I untuk cuba memahamkan sesebuah filem, lebih tenang minda I. Twists dalam storyline adalah orgasm untuk I.

Begitu juga dengan filem bergenre sarcastic dan politik. Dahulu kala I bercita-cita untuk menjadi peguam, jadi tak hairan lah kot I minat menonton filem-filem begini. Antara all time favourite adalah 'Munich' dan 'Inglourious Basterds'. Tak ramai yang boleh faham dengan filem genre sarcastic, yang mana ia menjadi satu kelebihan buat I, kerana I boleh faham.

9) Gadgets. I merupakan seorang hantu gadget yang mild, di mana I suka bertukar ganti barang berteknologi setelah I bosan dengan barang sedia ada. Buat masa ini, I sudah ada Mac Pro dalam koleksi. Xperia juga. Canon EOS juga. I bercadang untuk menambah sebuah lagi telefon bimbit, kemungkinan besar akan membeli sebuah Blackberry.

Faktor trend mungkin menjadi titik tolak kepada kegilaan I bergadget. Dan I mempunyai sebuah gitar akustik, walaupun masih belum tahu memainkan gitar tersebut. Niatnya mahu belajar, buku not muzik sudah ada.

10) Tempe, durian dan sandwich. Setiap tengah hari ketika lunch break pejabat, sekiranya I makan nasi berlauk, I akan memilih tempe sebagai lauk utama dipadankan dengan sayur. Tempe kentang dan sayur. Memang menu wajib, in fact, itu saja menu I kalau bernasi campur.

I juga hantu durian. I pernah makan durian untuk sarapan, makan tengah hari, makan petang dan malam. Tanpa menjamah sebutir nasi dan apa jua makanan lain sekali pun. Malah, I tiada masalah langsung kalau disuruh tidur bersebelahan dengan durian. Bau durian adalah harum bagi I. Selain itu, I mahir mengopek buah durian. Lelaki kegemaran I juga hantu durian. Tapi I tak gemar akan minat dia terhadap durian. Setiap kali dia berdurian, I akan mengenakan satu undang-undang mandatori. Never kiss me when you smell of durian. I memang sangat tidak aci.

Sandwich adalah makanan kegemaran I. Tak kisah lah apa jenis rupa sandwich pun, termasuklah shawerma. Kalau disuruh memilih antara nasi dan sandwich, I tak teragak-agak untuk memilih sanwich. Sampai ke tahap I merasakan sandwich yang dihidangkan oleh AirAsia adalah sangat sedap. Walaupun sandwich dia bodoh simple saja. Mungkin sebab I bodoh kot. Heh.

11) Apa-apa yang namanya bermula daripada huruf J. Semua nama barang-barang I berpangkalkan huruf J. Kamera I bernama Joni, gitar dipanggil Jeezus, sarung kotak tisu berupa harimau dipanggil John Tiger, Xperia dinamakan Johan. Macbook bernama Jeremi.